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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Please feel free to add any you want to share...
Heres one that got me laughing real good......

One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he managed for sex. "What's that" he asked. She explained to him what sex was and he said "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree." Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all wrong but I will show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, laid down on the ground and spread her legs wide. "Here," she said, "you must put it in here." Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the heck did you do that for?" "Just checking for bees," he said. :lol:
 

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My boss loves this one. He tells is to everyone he can :lol:

Theres a couple old men sitting on a park bench enjoying the day when they see a couple young kids walking buy. One is dressed all in black and has orange, red, yellow and blue hair. The one old man just keeps staring, when the kid notices and says "hey old man didnt you do crazy stuff when you were young?". The old man gets up and says well "I had sex with a peacock once....and I think your my son."
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I liked this one....

An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings
account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank
because, she said, she had a lot of money.

After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always
right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's
office.

The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied,
"$165,000". The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman
replied that she made bets.

The president was surprised and asked, "What kind of bets?"

The elderly woman replied, "Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square."

The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was
impossible to win a bet like that.

The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, "Would you like to take my bet?"

"Certainly", replied the president. "I bet you $25,000 that my
testicles are not square."

"Done", the elderly woman answered. "But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 o'clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness."

"No problem", said the president of the Bank confidently.

That night, the president became very nervous about the bet
and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his
testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over
again and again until he was positive that no one could
consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.

The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman
arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and
acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the
president's testicles were square.

The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one
made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to
drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.

The president was happy to oblige.

The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and
asked the president if she could touch them. "Of course", said the president. "Given the amount of money involved, you
should be 100% sure."

The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the
president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against
the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that
and she replied, "Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the
balls of the President of the Bank of Canada!" :lol:
 

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i heard the first one before and its a good one. but the other two i lmao and taking into consideration i have had a very horible 24 hrs you definitly lightened my mood.

thanks guys

scarponze
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Things that make people say OH CRAP!











I'm going to guess that last one was a really bad photoshop,but I cant imaging my reaction if that was real and me! :shock:
 

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ollie said:
Things that make people say OH CRAP!

I'm going to guess that last one was a really bad photoshop,but I cant imaging my reaction if that was real and me! :shock:
Those are ALL photoshops, worth1000.com (the URL that all those images are stamped with) is a site dedicated to image-editing, it's where the best photoshoppers in the world hang out.
 
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