I went to the junkyard, and randomly opened up a few dozen hoods.
Volvo, Saab, Hyundai, and Volkswagen are some of the brands I found that use a fairly slim design.
I ended up picking up a hyundai fan for 20 bucks that was in real nice shape and an inch and a half thick. I flipped it on it's side, and went at it with a dremel.
Removed the mounting brackets since they didn't line up anyway.
Thinned down the shroud here and there to better fit my car.
Made 2 custom mounting brackets, and mounted it in front of the radiator. Wired it backwards...now it's a push fan. Problem solved.