Well, the good thing is that you sound like you know you screwed up and are taking responsibility for it. As much as it sucks to get your brains beat out of you in the middle of nowhere, hopefully it will have a good outcome like you said. It sounds like you're tough enough to take it, and hopefully it will turn you arond and get you on track. You're way too young to mess up this early. You've got a lot ahead of you. Good luck.