The best non-lethal home defense... is to make your home look like it is occupied. If buglars wanted to meet people, they would become muggers.
Invest in light bulbs, a lit up home is harder to break into. Darkness is the criminal's friend.
Oh, you wanted something you could point and shoot at a person without killing him? Forget it. Even a "non-lethal" projectile will kill if it hits the right spot with the right velocity. A baseball bat will discourage an unarmed criminal. An armed criminal will shoot you and take your gun with your "non-lethal" projectiles.
Occupied home invasion crimes are generaly committed against people who can not call the cops- drug dealers, illlegal immigrants, etc.
Now, on to the topic of "carry" guns and their load-
A citizen does not need to carry a gun. If you are in a situation where a weapon would save your life, you have made some seriously bad decisions about lifestyle and behavior.
But if you find yourself in the need of a handgun for personal defense, consider that a handgun (ANY handgun) can only buy you enough time to escape. Shock and Awe will stun your assailants long enough for you to RUN AWAY. Real life is not the OK Corral, do not stand your ground and duke it out to the bitter end. Make a loud impression of lethality and then beat feet outta there.
Second factor to consider- The record indicates that people who carry a gun are most likely to be shot by their own gun. The weapon most likey to harm a policeman is his own handgun.
Knowing that your carry gun is mostly to be used on you, it makes the most sense to load the first chamber with a blank round. In the unlikely event that you will need to draw and fire your weapon upon an assailant, the blank round will do the least amount of harm while making a really big noise. In a panic situation, even trained policemen are likely to miss with the first shot so using a blank first round will not lose any potential for you.
The second round should be a "shot" shell commonly sold for killiing snakes. By the second shot you will have gained enough compsure to get the weapon closer to target and if you have multiple assailants a shot shell will scatter enough projectiles to make an impact on at least more than one person. Again, this round is less than totally lethal if oused upon you.
Subsequent rounds will continue to increase in lethality- round nosed bullet, semi-wad cutter, hollow nosed bullet. Presumably, if you need to continue to fire your weapon you will need advancing stopping power.
Finally- If you are invited to a gun fight, take a rifle, then a shotgun and your last choice would be a handgun. Your ability to hit accurately beyond 50 feet with a handgun is almost nil.
Scott