[SETI20]

If you find any good ones, post em up. Try to keep this thread a little clean.

Boy screams chickens to death.
A11yr old chinese boy, has killed several hundred chickens by screaming them to death. The screaming of the boy, wa sin it's turn caused by a stray dog barking at the boy. The incident was caused when the boy was on his way with his father selling propane bottles.

An observant villager saw the boy clenched onto a chicken ren in terror, with a big dog barking at him. A Chinese court has decided that the boy is responsible for the death of the chickens. Experts say some were scared to death, the others were trampled to death by their own kind.
The court fined the father $200 to pay for the damages.

Elephant squashes guide.

Sunday, in the Thai village "Jun", a guide was squashed to death by a male African elephant.
The animal, which was carrying 2 tourists on it's back during the incident could not appreciate the fact that the guide was taking it's picture.

The animal was startled by the flash, grabbed the guide with it's trunk, kicked him, and sat on him. Ruthlessly crushing the life out of the unfortunate man.

According to Thai police, this is the first incident in the village concerning elephant violence. Usually, the elephants should be quite "amicable".

Porn actrices petition against HD-TV

Porno actricces are frustrated over the latest technologies in television. In particular HD-TV. This new high quality standard in television shows their physical flaws in very high detail. Wich they are not very pleased with.

According to the movie stars, the smallest bit of cellulite will be painfully obvious on the hi-def big screens. Also crows feet are ruthlessly captured on camera. According to them, porn movies are much more prone to these effects, due to their high rates of nudity, and frequent use of close ups (just so you know)
This is potentially devestating to the self-esteem of the actresses and their reputation. And may be both financially and physically harmful. They forsee an increase in eating disorders.
The petition will be used as a poll to guage the support in a potential lawsuit, banning HD-TV.

Serial killer wanted even numbers

The canadian serial killer Robert Pickton has confessed to the prosecutors to killing 49 women.

In prison, he confessed that he wanted to stop when he reached 49, but he was forced to plan another one to end up with an even amount. This was the testimony of the Vancouver prosecution at the beginning of the trial against the 57yr old Canadian.

He now denies all the murder charges. Pickton aledgedly killed at least 26 women between 1978 and his arrest in 2002.

According to prosecutors, the only regret Pickton has, is that he did not reach a total number of 50.

 

[crxfisher]

How could they possibly determine that it was the boy's fault and not the dog's?

 

[Dodo]

Porn actrices petition against HD-TV

Porno actricces are frustrated over the latest technologies in television. In particular HD-TV. This new high quality standard in television shows their physical flaws in very high detail. Wich they are not very pleased with.

According to the movie stars, the smallest bit of cellulite will be painfully obvious on the hi-def big screens. Also crows feet are ruthlessly captured on camera. According to them, porn movies are much more prone to these effects, due to their high rates of nudity, and frequent use of close ups (just so you know)
This is potentially devestating to the self-esteem of the actresses and their reputation. And may be both financially and physically harmful. They forsee an increase in eating disorders.
The petition will be used as a poll to guage the support in a potential lawsuit, banning HD-TV.

Im amazed they now what HDTV is. Just look at jessica simpson.

 

[jfrolang]

hmm, HD porn looks fine on the internet. It should look great on my TV. :lol:

 

[SETI20]

How could they possibly determine that it was the boy's fault and not the dog's?

It's china. Who knows what they think? :rolleyes1:

 

[mithuth]

How could they possibly determine that it was the boy's fault and not the dog's?

It's china. Who knows what they think? :rolleyes1:

Because one form of dinner cannot be charged with the murder of another form of dinner... :twisted: :lol: :twisted:

It's sort of like when you mix your gravy and potatoes with your veggies...

 

[SETI20]

Children play with fragmentation grenade.

A group of children from Ederveen (Netherlands) had been playing with a fragmentation grenade late saturday afternoon, according to a police spokesman. The children found the non-exploded device, datin gback to the second world war, in a park, and started to throw it around.

As his friends were trying to break the device open, one of the children got concerned, and went back home to get his dad.

The explosives clearance unit dared not move the device, and decided to detonate it on site.

...kids these days :rolleyes1:

We see weird stuff like that here on occasion.
Last summer, 3 road workers died when their buldozer struck a 500 pounder that was buried in the ground.

 

[SETI20]

Elderly man glued to roof

A 91yr old German who was attempting to repair the roof of his holiday cabin, got stuck when he lost his footing.
According to police, the man was stuck like a beetle on it's back. It took rescue workers hours to free the man, also being forced to cause serious damage to the very roof the elderly man was attempting to fix.

The incident occurred in a small town near Magdenburg (Germany). Passers by were shocked to see the elderly man on the roof of the cabin. Suspecting he was attempting cuicide.
In reality, the man was attempting to repair a leaky roof with fresh asphalt and tar. In the slippery substance, the man lost his balance, and landed arms and legs spread in the middle of the sticky substance.
By the time police and rescue workers arrived, the asphalt had already set.
The man is unharmed...but the roof needs repairs.

 

[SETI20]

Brothel introduces special senior discount.

One of the largest brothels in Europe, Pascha in Cologne (Germany) has introduced a special senior citizen discount. Elderly men over 66yrs old are eligible for the discounts.
At the daily senior hours (between noon and 5PM) they can enjoy themselves for half price. The cheapest desire would mean a saving of 25 euro. ($32)

The discount is also valid from 9PM in the night club, according to the Pascha-website. According to the brothel, they are the only brothel in the world with a orgasn guarantee. Satisfaction, or your money back.
Altho this has proven to be a problem with some of the seniors.

 

[Ragnaarok]

heh, a brothel with a guarantee! I thought that was implied by the sheer fact of going to one? crazyness.

 

[phatboycrxhf]

Robert Pickton's farm was just down the road from my house :shock: when i was working for Mavrick oilfeild

that sick bugger :evil:

 

[andrey320]

SARASOTA -- John Coffin won't spend any more time in jail for beating up two sheriff's deputies inside his house, striking one in the head with a Taser gun he took from the other.
More- http://www.heraldtribune.com/apps/pbcs. ... /703140547

 

[ludesrv]

SARASOTA -- John Coffin won't spend any more time in jail for beating up two sheriff's deputies inside his house, striking one in the head with a Taser gun he took from the other.
More- http://www.heraldtribune.com/apps/pbcs. ... /703140547

Bad cops like this (well not bad in general, bad at that moment in time) hurt the reputation of good cops like Mark.

 

[SETI20]

What a bunch of clowns.
2 trained cops. The female (no surprise there) manages to get her taser taken away, and the other cop ends up unconscious on the floor.

 

[andrey320]

Back to the topic...

"A German Judge Cites Koran in Divorce Case

He beat her and threatened her with murder. But because husband and wife were both from Morocco, a German divorce court judge saw no cause for alarm. It's a religion thing, she argued."

http://www.spiegel.de/international/0,1 ... 17,00.html

 

[andrey320]

It's $250 a pop for a balloon on the loose

12 hours, 57 minutes ago

CONCORD - People will want to hold onto their balloons if the Senate agrees with a House vote yesterday to ban balloon releases.

By a vote of 215 to 111, the House approved a bill that treats balloon releases as a form of littering.

HB 62 originally barred the release of two dozen or more lighter-than-air balloons.

The version that passed yesterday could bring a $250 fine for even a single balloon let loose. A second offense could bring a $500 fine. The bill specifically exempts hot air balloons, weather balloons and others released as part of scientific research.

The bill does not penalize accidental releases.

Those who favored the bill said the balloon materials, including the attached strings and ribbons, pose a serious threat to wildlife. Whales, turtles and seabirds that live along New Hampshire's coastline mistakenly eat floating balloons thinking they are food, and then are unable to eat real food.

"Do we now get balloon police?" Rep. Randolph Holden, R-Goffstown, asked.

Rep. Kevin Waterhouse, R-Windham, said police officers would be given enforcement responsibility.

A move to give the job to Fish and Game officers was rejected, since the department is under budget pressure already.

He said people need to be aware that balloon releases cause real harm to wildlife.

"It doesn't just go to heaven and disappear. It comes back down again," Waterhouse said.

Waterhouse said he was inspired to sponsor the bill by a group of homeschoolers studying ecology.

 

[SETI20]

Back to the topic...

"A German Judge Cites Koran in Divorce Case

He beat her and threatened her with murder. But because husband and wife were both from Morocco, a German divorce court judge saw no cause for alarm. It's a religion thing, she argued."

http://www.spiegel.de/international/0,1 ... 17,00.html

Yeah, this one's all over the news here. It's going to cause a whooole heap of problems.

 

[Dodo]

Hope thats not here good side. :lol: