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There I was, sitting at the local chinese buffet, enjoying dinner with the wife. As most of us do, I gobbled down my food to get to the ultimate reward, the fortune cookie.

As I carefully peeled the wrapper away, in anticipation to finally getting the tidbit of knowledge that may someday save the day, I shook with excitement (or was that the Genneral Tso acting up?)

Anyhow, imagine my dismay when I force-fed myself that god aweful tasting cookie and read my reward...


(A good way to keep healthy is to eat more Chinese food.)

I didn't think you'd believe me without a pic. lol.

I have never felt so ripped off. I suddenly relaited to Ralphie on A Christmas Story. You know the part where he runs ot the bathroom with his Annie decoder and the radio code, and the secret message is "Drink more Ovaltine(sp?)"
That was me. I had the same betrayed feeling. I looked up from my cookie with that exact blank look and mumbled, "Son of a b...."

It's been almost a week now and I'm just bring myself to not be mad and accept the humor in it. I thought I'd share the story, incase anyone else has reciently been raped by the chinese cookie and wanted to vent.
 

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Thats not as good as the one i've seen. It said, "You will recieve a fortune (cookie) I swear thats what it said. I'll get a pic of it later.

Duh. :rolleyes1:
 

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I am not joking. I got one that said
"never smell the inside of a hat"
 

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haha - that's great.

Anyone remember the Saturday Night Live where Mike Meyers ran a sweat shop that wrote fortune cookies and was pissed that no one had any talent? He ended up firing everyone and had to rely on Confucious (Chris Farley) for help. Come to find out Confucius never wrote anything...he got all his ideas from Bazooka Joe! Woulda known?!?
 

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I hate the fortune cookie that just states facts, and not fortune like.

'You are surrounded by good friends'. No ****, I don't keep bad friends around me lol. How about less of that and more of the old school fortune.

I have one that 2 years old. I cracked it open right before college started and it had an awesome saying so I kept it.
 

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ludesrv said:
I have one that 2 years old. I cracked it open right before college started and it had an awesome saying so I kept it.
I get good ones occassionally. Ones that you say, "Wow...that is right on spot...I'm going to keep this forever!" Then I do something stupid like wash my jeans or read it on a bad day and get pissed and toss it. :lol:
 

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one time i opened a fortune cookie and it said "dog taste pretty good doesnt it?"i was like what the [Freak] and i asked the lady working there if that was really dog that i just ate and she said no but i knew she was bull[chipping] me i felt so swindled
 

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bluecrxnc said:
Good story :D That was a pretty bad fortune especially since Chinese Food is about the worst food you could eat.
why is that ??? i love chinese and i allways gain wieght if i push my luck with how much i eat of it a month lol and all these chinese people are just tiny ,skinny and they eat it ! i dont get it
 

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phatboycrxhf said:
bluecrxnc said:
Good story :D That was a pretty bad fortune especially since Chinese Food is about the worst food you could eat.
why is that ??? i love chinese and i allways gain wieght if i push my luck with how much i eat of it a month lol and all these chinese people are just tiny ,skinny and they eat it ! i dont get it
Chinese food tends to have very high amounts of MSG and salt.

I have 5 in my wallet..
- Your talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded
- You seak to shield those you love and like the role of the provider
- You will enjoy good health, you will be surrounded by luxury
- your business will assume vast proportions
- you will be a great success in the business world and society.
 

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phatboycrxhf said:
bluecrxnc said:
Good story :D That was a pretty bad fortune especially since Chinese Food is about the worst food you could eat.
why is that ??? i love chinese and i allways gain wieght if i push my luck with how much i eat of it a month lol and all these chinese people are just tiny ,skinny and they eat it ! i dont get it
Besides the salt and MSG's, most all of the food is saturated with oils in a pan or even deep fried (sesame chicken, general tso's) PLUS the portions they give you are double to quadruple what you should take in. Ever watch them eat during their lunch?, they eat with actual chopsticks and take forever to do so... Eating in that manner is slower allowing you to sense when you've had enough without over stuffing. As Americans we eat fast and eat a lot. That's why you feel good and round after dinner out on the town. :)
 
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