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You got Jokes? (Please keep it work and kid safe)

1085 Views 6 Replies 7 Participants Last post by  crxter, 
mithuth
I had to share this one with you guys, and thought maybe we could keep it going as long as it stays clean. Please keep the language work safe and clean, incase young ones stumble upon this site.

One Sunday morning, everyone in a bright, beautiful, tiny
town got up early and went to the local church. Before the
services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews
and talking about their lives, their families, etc.

Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church.
Everyone started screaming and running for the front
entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get
away from evil incarnate.

Soon everyone was evacuated from the church, except for one
elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving,
seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy
was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he
walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"

The man replied, "Yep, sure do."

Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?"

"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.

Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why
aren't you afraid of me?"

The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for
over 48 years."
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danielleb
Ahahhaahaha!!!!!!
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jfrolang
I think I saw that joke on my google homepage a few days ago...
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9
:lol: hahahahahaha thats funny, sounds like my girlfriend when you tell her no! hahahaha :D
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Ragnaarok
MarkWilliamson said:
Q:What do cops, paramedics and firefighters all have in common?
A: They all want to be firefighters!

I was going to be a firefighter, but I failed the medical; the doctor found out I had testicles.
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oooh, wicked burn!! :twisted:
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R
I hope this one is clean enough and i dont get in trouble

Q: What do you get with a penis and a potato crossed?
A: A Dictator!! :p

For those who know newfoundlanders

Three men: an english, french , and a newfie were walking through the desert when they came upon a genie's lamp. They rubbed it and out pops the genie. "One wish each" he declares. The english man had hurt his back so he asked the genie to repair the damage. POOF! His back was good as new. The French man had the worst leg from sports. BANG!! The pain was gone. The Newfie had hurt his neck at work, but before the genie fixed him he said," Don't you touch me...I'm on disability!!" :D

A blonde woman was driving down a highway. She was approaching a field when she saw a boat with a person in it. She stopped the car, jumped out and seen a blonde rowing the boat. She yelled out " Hey...if i could swim, I'd come out there and kick your ass!"

Hope you laugh!
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crxter
MarkWilliamson said:
Q:What do cops, paramedics and firefighters all have in common?
A: They all want to be firefighters!

I was going to be a firefighter, but I failed the medical; the doctor found out I had testicles.
Click to expand...
I also wanted to be a firefighter, but then I found a terrible thing.
I found out how much they made.
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